"I find it inappropriate to report the numbers of Israeli dead in the first section of the article, while not giving the much larger Palestinian losses until the fourth section. One would expect to see these closer together unless the intention is to downplay the number of Palestinians killed."
Dear Ms Baillie, Ms Ito, Mr Fenlon and Mr Achi,
I write on behalf of Canadians for Justice and Peace in the Middle East,(https://cjpme.org
), Saskatoon Chapter, to comment on your article " Israeli troops fight Hamas in north Gaza, border crossing closed as Canadians wait", subtitled:" Israel says it found weapons-making equipment, child's bedroom in intricate tunnel system".
I find it inappropriate to report the numbers of Israeli dead in the first section of the article, while not giving the much larger Palestinian losses until the fourth section. One would expect to see these closer together unless the intention is to downplay the number of Palestinians killed.
The article reads: "Military footage shows soldiers walking through rubble into a building where weapons-building equipment and instruction manuals were found. They also uncovered a tunnel shaft replete with a cooling system, and nearby, a child's bedroom with pink walls."
I assume you have seen this footage. Did it also show the weapons stash and the pink bedroom? If not, you are stating as fact what is only a claim by the Israeli army, the same army which denied killing journalist Shireen Abu Akleh.
Journalists should be careful repeating stories like this from the IOF without verification. Would you trust a similar story given by Russia's army? If the author of the article has seen and verified the footage, of course no changes are required.
I do ask you to change the subtitle. The image that comes to mind when you juxtapose military equipment and pink children's bedrooms is bound to enrage readers. Sensationalizing a subtitle like this seems irresponsible,especially when relevant context is omitted such as that the 17-year old siege on Gaza is illegal, the occupied population of Gaza has a legal right to defend itself, while a war crime committed against Israel does not absolve it from its responsibilities to protect the civilians in the territory it occupies.
You write: "Israel says its Hamas foes have command centres embedded in the hospital. "
This time you clearly attribute the claim to Israel, but why only one source? Dr Mads Gilbert and Canadian Dr Tarek Loubani long term workers at Al Shifa, have both made statements refuting the IOF claims. It is inappropriate to offer only one source, and a military one at that.
Thank you for making these changes.